Pursuit of Happiness

“In every life we have some trouble, but when you worry you make it double. Don’t worry, be happy”. In this catchy tune, Bobby McFerin advises us to be happy instead of focusing on the things that make us worry. To worry is to get caught up in a negative state of mind while either avoiding or solving potential and real problems in our lives. Whereas to be happy is to feel content, joyful and satisfied with what is happening in our lives. There is so much out there that encourages us to be happy, to chase happiness or to hold onto happiness as tightly as possible. But as the old adage goes; “too much of anything is bad” and being happy all the time may actually be more harmful than helpful. 

When Bobby McFerin told us not to worry and be happy, I took him at his word and made that the mantra of my life. I chose to be excited by the little things in life like the clouds or leaves, I chose to focus on the positives both in people and situations and I chose to smile through all the storms that life brings my way. Whenever an unfortunate situation pops up like an illness or a loss, I immediately tell myself “don’t worry, be happy”. I chose this as my mantra because as someone who struggles with chronic depression and anxiety, my nature is to focus on doom and gloom. I thought that if I can always choose happiness, I will not feel depressed again. I assumed that happiness makes the doom and gloom disappear or at the very least easier to manage. After all, each dark cloud has a silver lining so shouldn’t we always be happy if even the dark days can have light too? 

What I didn’t realise is that happiness is only a state of being and not a disposition, trying to turn something temporary into something permanent will not only hurt you but will also pervert that thing because it is no longer existing in its natural form. Happiness is a fleeting feeling that comes from the moments when we have a bite of our favourite food, hear a baby laugh or listen to our favourite song. The joy of happiness is that it is fleeting so we always have something to look forward to. If we always felt happiness eating all types of food, we wouldn’t enjoy a favourite food. If we felt happiness listening to every single song, we wouldn’t have a favourite song that makes us feel alive. We would miss out on those moments when we truly appreciate life because something reminds us that not everything must be mundane. 

Life happens in cycles, and each stage of the cycle serves a purpose. The sun and rain work hand in hand for plants to grow, but too much rain brings floods and too much sun brings drought. Similarly, happiness and sadness compliment each other to help us grow. Trouble in life is inevitable so worry is futile. Whether we worry or not, we will still have trouble. But feeling sad about trouble is a natural and healthy response because we are not satisfied with our current situation. That dissatisfaction is something that I often worry about. I worry that dissatisfaction is a symptom of failure and an expression of ingratitude. But just as happiness isn’t permanent, neither is sadness. 

So Bobby McFerin was half right, don’t worry but if you aren’t happy, that’s okay. Unfortunately, some of the lessons from sadness are only learnt retrospectively so in the moment it can feel like our suffering is for naught but use your dissatisfaction to find a solution to your trouble. Hold on to the hope that the trouble shall pass. Sadness is just as fleeting as happiness, but if you don’t feel it, you don’t grow from it.