Get Over Yourself

It is hard to know what to pay attention to in our world today. Every single day we are bombarded with images, stories and videos of so much more information than we can ever process. And it’s not just social media, it is everywhere you go, a day cannot pass you by without you hearing about someone’s tremendous achievements or someone’s unimaginable suffering. So, we often find ourselves oscillating between feeling unfulfilled, and feeling grateful but angered and helpless at the plight of others. Either way, we often find ourselves feeling unimportant in some way, shape or form.

Bizarrely, our feelings of insignificance have led to an inflation of our self-importance. Obviously not everyone has fallen victim to this, but I certainly have. It is sadly ironic how sometimes if we do not confront our fears, our fears begin to control us and change who we are. In our quest to do something more meaningful with our lives, we end up attributing a level of significance to ourselves that is neither merited nor impactful. This isn’t wrong, but it isn’t beneficial either. You cannot sustain a life that is built on shallow pride, we need to dig deep and live a life that fulfils our unique purpose.

We all know that we are different, we each have our individual talents, strengths and weaknesses. But in addition, we each have a different calling. You and I could both be great singers, but you have a calling to make RnB music and I have a calling to make country music. I would be a fool to measure my accomplishments against yours because we are not walking the same path. Our different paths lead to different destinations, but if I am so focused on your destination, I will veer off my path and end up being lost. The biggest problem with self-importance is we are focused on the result and not the process. Everyone wants to have it made without putting in the work. And then they don’t want to put in the work because it’s too much work for something they don’t truly want.

When you see how successful your agemates are in their careers and relationships, you feel like you are unsuccessful in comparison. But let me ask you a question I have had to ask myself whenever I feel the jealousy and worthlessness creeping through. Have you looked at the work? When those emotions arise, you are looking at the result and not the process. If you look at the process, you will be just as happy if not happier to see people succeed. We never know how many miles someone has walked to get to where they are, if anything their journey should give us hope that we too can achieve the goals we set for ourselves. Goals which should not be about accumulating likes and accolades, but rather making someone else’s world a better place.

Conversely, when you are faced with the bleakness of the more inhumane things that happen in the world, its is natural to feel upset and hopeless. There are so many things happening around the world that move us to tears as we watch and read the news. But do you know how much is happening in your circle of influence? Maybe you can’t help a child in Syria, but you can help that child you see at the same corner of the street every day. There are so many problems in the world, you cannot solve them all or even half of them, but you can make a substantial difference in one person’s life.

We need to stop thinking that our steps must be big to be meaningful. Yes, you are living your life, so it is inevitable that you will often think about yourself and how life events impact you. But life is not just about you. Each of us is a piece in a puzzle, some pieces are bigger than others, some pieces are meant to be in the centre and others are meant to be on the side. No matter where you fit in the puzzle, the puzzle is incomplete without you in your proper place. Don’t spend your life trying to be a centre piece when you are a corner piece. Stop trying to be who you think you need to be and become who the world needs you to be.

Live your life each day at a time using every opportunity you can to make someone else’s day a little better. The more you give, the more you get. You don’t always get exactly what you have given, but you will surely be rewarded for your efforts.

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive then go do that. The world needs more people who have come alive.”

-Howard Thurman